Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I'm a Mess, I Tell Ya!

So I had and ultrasound on my left boob today.  Before I tell you more about that, you need to picture this, if you please:  I've been sick since Sunday.  My nose is so red from tissue irritation that it looks like a baboon's ass.  I did take a shower but was having a REALLY bad hair day, as if my hair knew today was just not for us and it didn't even try.  My eyes were red and every few minutes I'm either sneezing or coughing up a lung.  And let's not forget, I'm on one crutch.  My one ugly metal crutch that I wanted to dip in glue and then dip in glitter, but Sean said no since they were going to be "family crutches".  I mean how selfish is that???  Like we'd ever need them again - way to think positively, Sean!

Anyway, Lisa was my ultrasound technician.  Technically, now she is also one of my new best friends since I let her feel me up for a half an hour.  I had found a lump and my doctor sent me for a mammogram/ultrasound double whammy - and today was the day.  I am sure that the other ladies in the waiting room were SO happy to have me leave them, as I had sneezed and coughed so much that it was hard not to notice them wincing when I did so.  Also my crutch fell on some lady's foot.  Sorry, lady.

So the GREAT news is that the lump was a cyst (2 of them, actually) and no biopsy is needed.  I have dense breast tissue (thanks, mom, for those genetics) and she said cysts are common.  WAHOO!!!!  As she was leading me back to the changing area, as I'm coughing and sneezing and nose wiping and gimping, my crutch gets caught up on the rug and I almost face plant.  I'm serious.

And Lisa, the technician, turns to me and says "You're a wreck, aren't you?"

And I laughed all the way home.


  1. Family crutches - hilarious (I, btw ... totally let my daughter cover her crutches in princess stickers when she broker her leg). #justsaying

  2. I would have glued and glittered the crutch today.... What a great story thanks for sharing. Glad your ok from anything serious...Tell Seandog, I said hello

    Denise Roberts/Lombard

  3. Lauren, I can completely relate. I've done the sprained ankle..on crutches, they don't help you walk...they make it more difficult..period! But I've also been down the road of ultrasounds/mammograms and biopsies....a few times. Thankfully all is good but gets more stressful and scary each time! Hugs to you for having to go thru that $hit!