Monday, April 23, 2012

The Beast

Part of the reason I'm doing this blog is to make people laugh - that's what I do.  It makes me happy.

Another reason is because there are so many things in my life that could be viewed negatively, and this gives me a place to view them positively, in black and white, where I can come back and see why I thought the positive spin existed in the first place when times get tough.

Don't get me wrong - I have a wonderful marriage and kids, wonderful friends, and a great family, but as is true with all of us, sometimes things are not so great.

Things get tough.

My hope is that when things get tough for me, not only can I put a positive spin on them for my own sake, but maybe someone out there will choose to put a positive spin on their own situation as well.

After all, everyone has something going on that is tough.  Everyone.  Yes, even you, don't pretend like you don't.

Which brings me to the beast.

One of the things no one talks about is chemical imbalance.  It exists.  It's no different than if someone had any other medical condition that needs to be treated - like asthma.  If you have asthma, you treat it so you can function in the every day world.

Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it gets worse.  There is nothing to be ashamed about.

When you have a chemical imbalance, you treat it.

Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it gets worse.  There is nothing to be ashamed about.

One of the most beautiful things about being a woman is that time of month when we are reminded how lucky we are to be women, and that our bodies are made to carry babies.  It's the most beautiful reminder nature can give us.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ......sniffle....gasp....hahahahah....gasp....cough.......

It's "The Rag" and it sucks.

It sucks more as you get older.  I'm only 42, for piss sakes, and I'm pre-menopausal already?!?!  Cut me some slack, Jack!  Do you have any idea what I'm dealing with on a daily basis here I have to be some medical freak of nature on top of it?!?!?!?!  ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

See?  THE BEAST.  The Beast exists and gets REALLY pissed off every 3 weeks (yes, one of the gifts of age is a new-and-improved more frequent cycle!  CONGRATULATIONS!!!).  It pisses off anyone around me, actually.  All sanity goes flying out the window and I become an absolute mess.  No rationale.  Emotional basket case.  A put-up-danger-signs-all-around-me-and-it's-best-if-you-stay-away disaster.

I'm not kidding!  Another reason why Sean deserves a crown.  And my friends deserve one too.  They all just witnessed The Beast and are probably scratching their heads wondering where their good friend Lauren has gone.

She's here!  She's wrestling The Beast.  Please leave a message and Lauren will call you back.

I imagine if I'm dealing with The Beast then others are too.  I think acknowledging The Beast is one step toward conquering The Beast.

I just hope I still have my friends when I conquer The Beast.  I have a feeling I will - they're good like that.  No, I'm wrong...

They're GREAT like that.  :)


  1. My beast started showing up early, too, around 42-ish. GYN tried to tell me it was too early. Changed GYN's! 50 now and she's still hsowing up. That damn period is still pretty darn regular too... I like herbs and acupuncture. Maybe we could write a book for husbands called, What Did You Do With My Sweet Wife. (!!)

    1. Now THAT'S a great title!!! I'm in if you are - our poor husbands. LOVE YOU Ging!!!