When did it become ok to judge others for their parenting style?
I have been so honored to write articles about my family's life with autism. It has been my pleasure to open myself up to others in hopes that one person will read our story and say, “YES! That’s like my life too!” And maybe not feel so alone.
Parenting autism, while amazing, and glorious, and educational, and enlightening, can also be isolating.
I typically read comments after one of my pieces has been published. And it makes me sad. Not sad for myself, because my family and I are a strong, solid unit, and we know what we say and do is for the best. The best FOR US.
Never once have I said, in any of my pieces, “This is what you should do…” or “this is how everyone should raise their child.”
Why is it ok, then, for the anonymous reader, safe behind the glow of their screen, to spew venom at me and my words?
Please know that I agree that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I’m just curious about when it got to be ok to be hateful, instead of kind. That cruelty is the go-to before anything else.
I’m not writing for support. Or kind words. Or popularity. Or to be liked.
I’m writing to express myself, to tell our stories, and to help others.
Please disagree. Healthy debate is an amazing thing, and I have learned so much from others who engage me with thoughtful criticism, bringing up perspectives I may have not otherwise thought about.
I’m ok with debate. I’m not ok with cruelty.
My sons read these pieces. They read your comments. They ask how people can be so mean when they don’t know us, or don’t know why we choose to do what we do.
I tell them that some people choose cruelty over kindness. And these people do the rest of us a favor by showing us their true nature.
So we can walk on by.
So please, comment away. But know that while I completely appreciate the kind words, and words of support, the cruelty can’t touch us. Go for it. You are affecting no one.
I take that back - you ARE affecting us.
You are giving us a great example to show our kids how NOT to behave.
Have a nice day.