Oh no he DI' AN' T!!!

Peter, this morning.  Before I've had my coffee.

Pete:  "Mom, my teacher said her shoes are her babies.  I told her you have a whole closet full of them, but only wear like 3 pairs."

Me:  (horrified)  "Peter!!!  That's not true!  And we live in Vermont, it's not like I can wear peep toes in the winter!"

I then thought to myself, "Well, I CAN, but I have to carry them to where I'm going and put them on after I take my boots off...", but I knew better than to even have that conversation with my son unless I wanted to stare at a glazed over face.

Pete: (after some thought) "Why do you have so many shoes, anyway?!"

Me: (thinking "Oh no you are NOT going there!!!")  "Why do you have so many legos?!?!"

Conversation over.  Finally I spoke his language.

And I may have multiple shoe changes today, just to prove my point.  You do NOT mess with the shoes.