My list of excuses for today

Today was SUCH a Monday.  And I don't even have a job, remember???

I haven't been to Zumba in a week and every class hurts, as I am not back up to my 3-4 classes a week routine.  Today I spent some time coming up with excuses as to why I should NOT go to my Zumba class tonight.  I seriously spent some time on it.  Here is my list:

1. TJ has a cough.  What if he needs me?
2. My jaw hurts.
3. I look like an ass in my mouth guard that I  have to wear for 2 weeks because I have a degenerative TMJ thing going on and I can only take it out to eat.  Did I mention this before?
4. Madame Bovary, my left ovary, was hurting last night.  Maybe she should be coddled?
5. I rolled my ankle last week - it needs time, precious time.
6. Sean's on the road - what if my car breaks down or something?  I'm screwed.
7. What if Peter, my now 11 year old, wants some snuggle time?  I'll miss it.  That would suck.
8. My knee.  
9. My other knee.
10. I'm having a good hair day - Zumba will ruin it.
11. What if I smell?  Yes, this one was really on the list.  No one needs to smell me - no one.

All perfectly valid excuses, in my opinion.

I went anyway.  And I actually uttered the phrase, "Please pardon my crotch" out loud in class.  That has never happened before.

And hopefully, as I'm sure the other Zumba ladies will agree, I'll never utter it again.