In search of a tag line

At the beginning of each Real Housewives show on Bravo TV, the ladies say a tag line about their lives.  Here are some examples:

“People call me a gold digger, but they just want what I have.” 

"I'm here for a good time, not for a long time."

"I'm living the American dream, one mistake at a time."

"I don't make money, I spend money."

“I may be married to a plastic surgeon, but I’m 98 percent real.” 

Um....what?

Is that really the best they could come up with?!  Those are lousy tag lines.  Especially the American dream one - what the hell is that?  She sounds like an idiot.  Don't you think that if you're going to be on national television that you would put your best foot forward?  I'm curious about what input the Bravo TV folks have on the ladies who say these lines.  Are they cracking up every time they hear them?  I would be.  I AM, as an observer. 

Then I start wondering what my tag line would be if I was on one of these shows.  Here are some ideas:

"Some days I just don't shower."

Hmmm...that's not really putting my best foot forward.  Next.

"I am who I am.  If you don't like it, you can suck it."

I like the idea behind this one, but it's a wee bit aggressive, don't you think?  I can do better.  How about this?

"D is for Diverticulitis, AND Diva!"

I just cracked myself up with that one!  We may be on to something. 

"I can change my mood as fast as I can change my shoes."

This is true, but makes me sound a little schizophrenic.  

"Vermont can be cold, but it's fine if you're a Hot Mama like me."

DING DING DING!!!  We have a winner!!!

I think a tag line should be changeable every day.  There is no way one line can consistently represent me and my life.  So now that I've tried to come up with my own tag line I have a greater sympathy for the ladies who do have to pick one to stick with for a TV show.

Except for those ladies who said the lines at the beginning of this post - really, there is no excuse for the stupidity of those.