Remember when I broke up with Bravo TV and the Real Housewives?
I lied. But just a little.
I still watch sometimes, but turn the channel when they get all "let's start hitting each other" or "let's show the world how mean we can be". They do that a lot.
Anyway, I was watching the Real Housewives of New York City last night as one lady was confronting her step-father after not seeing him for 20+ years after the horrible childhood she had.
She kept saying "I'm not mad...I'm not angry....but...." and then would list all the reasons why she has every right to be mad and angry and hurt and broken.
I felt badly for her. But I also felt really frustrated.
Now please know that this is just my opinion and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If yours differs, and you disagree, that's ok. But this is what I have concluded for myself.
There comes a time when you have to take a look at the events that have made you who you are, work through the pain and anger and hurt, and let it go. I have seen what can happen to people who are so stuck on what has happened in the past, they can not move forward. And then it becomes a crutch, a habit, that the individual ends up building their life on. They ingrain this hurt and anger into their entire fiber, and feel more comfortable in the role of "victim" or "survivor", instead of releasing it and facing their life without the negative weight.
I have faced many of my own struggles, and while some are definitely easy to let go, others are not. And those are the ones I have had to really work on, as they are the ones that have the most to teach me.
And after I finally find the lesson I'm supposed to learn, I can let it go. If I'm still feeling hurt and angry about something, I haven't learned the lesson yet and have more work to do.
For example, if I see someone I have had a tough time with, and have the urge to flip the bird in passing, instead of flipping the bird, I ask myself "what is going on with you today that you are feeling such strong negativity?"
See what I mean?
So no matter if the damage done was done in childhood or adulthood, it has to be addressed, managed, and let go. It's really the only way to face your future unencumbered.
That's my opinion, anyway.
So to the RHONY lady who kept saying "I'm not angry..." and was clearly very angry, there is more work to do.
We all have some work to do, though, don't we? And facing each day with a positive focus is totally worth it.
So go get 'em. And have a great day.