Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Real Fabulous in the EJ

My girlfriends and I here in the EJ always say that there should be a "Real Housewives of the EJ" series.  We think it's time that Housewives are shown as a majority of us really are - not wealthy, not living in mansions, not wearing Gucci strapless dresses to a cocktail party then never wearing it again.  Just living day to day with our families, our friendships, our simple lives. 

BORING!!!  NO ONE wants to watch simple lives.

Which is fine with me, because when you think about it, how can one possibly act perfectly normal if you are miked and followed by cameras all the time?  Blocky mike box shoved in your back aside, there is NO WAY anyone can carry on a personal conversation in a perfectly normal manner.  Privacy is already difficult enough to have in a small town.  Just try to have privacy on camera.  It sounds like a nightmare.

Not to mention the fact that if there is a camera pointing at me, I am playing to it.  Can't help it.  Just ask anyone I went to college with.  If I'm on video I am ON, baby.  There is not much genuine about it.  I am a goofball who loves to make myself laugh (I usually say I love to make people laugh, but let's face it, if I'm goofing off for the camera I could care less who's laughing - I'm just cracking myself up). 

And how does one carry on a genuine relationship in front of the camera, anyway?  Especially if "in front of the camera" is the only time you see someone?  There are some Real Housewives on TV who make it look easy - they can't help but be genuine no matter what.  Please know that these women are the minority.  But they exist.  What you see is what you get.  Even after years on camera.  These women are clearly the most fabulous, secure women on TV and I want to know what flavor Kool-Aid they are drinking because I'll take 18,000 packs, please.

Then there are those who think they are the shit.  The world stops and starts with them.  Get out of the way and oh by the way drop rose petals at their feet before you do because they reek of fabulositude.  In their humble opinions.  These are the women who drive me crazy.  They have lost all sense of reality, no pun intended.  Their brains have been numbed by whatever camera waves zapped them, or maybe, like Narcissus before them, fell SO in love with their own images that they have been forever blinded to anyone else's thoughts, feelings, or even presence.  It's a gross phenomenon.  And sadly, these are the women who get the most attention so it perpetuates their awful behavior.  I'd LOVE to just, oh I don't know, trip one of them.  And not say "sorry".  HA!  That'll bring 'em back down to earth!!!  These She-Narcissi are what is wrong with women relationships these days and hopefully their 15 minutes will be up - soon.  Please God.

I think that once you see yourself on TV, judging how you interact with others, how you look, how you talk, how you stand, how you dress, how you hold your left arm, how you tilt your get the picture....that it's impossible not to constantly think "How am I doing?  Am I my very best right now?"  It just seems exhausting.  While it's fun to say with my girlfriends "We'd be the best Real Housewives ever!" it would totally mess everything up.  It's best to keep our simple lives simple.

And by "simple", I mean fabulous.  By EJ standards, anyway.

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