So I'm coming off a string of a few days of meltdowns - not mine.
Both my boys have been having a difficult time lately.
This is the first summer TJ has not qualified for summer school. TJ has autism. At first I was actually happy and proud, as if he was somehow semi "cured", what an amazing thing, aren't we lucky, blah blah blah. In fact, our district is desperate to save money, so qualification was strictly based on academic performance. While I'm happy that he's doing well academically, the school is in for a rude awakening when they get my sweet boy in the fall. Without the structure, TJ is slowly falling apart. Last year his start of school was seamless. This fall, I'm not putting any money on it. It's funny....they take away supports because he's doing so well. But he's doing so well because of all the supports. Chew on that one for a while.
Peter does not have autism, but has "little brother of a special needs kid syndrome" (not an official syndrome - this one is Lauren named). He thinks that he always knows better, no questions asked. He bosses his big brother around and pushes all his buttons, then when TJ explodes and says nasty things to Peter, he cries victim. It's exhausting.
The best part was yesterday. TJ was mid meltdown. He yells "everything is about Peter. It's like he's more important than me. I'm older. I'm #3 in this family and he's #4 - I should come first." There was more but I'm not going to detail it here. Finally after he calms down, it's Peter's turn to melt down. And the first thing out of his mouth is "everything is always about TJ. It's like he's more important in this family than I am." Seriously?!?! Can't these 2 compare notes before melting down??? It would avoid meltdowns all together and save me some headaches and heartaches. Dudes. Seriously.
Later in the day I was walking with my friend who grew up with a special needs sibling. She said, wisely, "you can get advice from everyone in the world, but if they don't have a special needs person in their family they just can't get it." True. It's a balancing act that goes beyond your typical sibling rivalry, and is further isolating as every case of autism varies so much from child to child. And while I appreciate advice (sometimes - other times I'm just like "I didn't ask - please stop talking"), it often makes me feel more isolated and alone than anything else. But that's neither here nor there.
So my fingers are crossed for today. For all of us. Because apparently, not only am I supposed to be "fun summer mom who's calm and can handle everything", I also have to be "summer school replacement mom who can magically structure every day for her son with autism without fear of not doing enough for him." No pressure.
At least I didn't get hit in the head by the glass orb from that lamp - THINK POSITIVE! (see previous post)