I've had an epiphany.
I'm a super-sensitive person. Always have been. I cry at the drop of a hat - happy and sad times. It's annoying as hell. It's one of those things about myself that has been the hardest to deal with.
I have realized that one of the hugest reasons that I drank so much was to stop feeling so much. I feel everything very strongly. Everything. Stress, joy, insecurity, fun, happy and sad. Drinking helped to quiet down and numb all those feelings that I was constantly experiencing.
Except when it didn't. Sometimes I felt things even more strongly and reacted in a way that I wouldn't have, without the booze.
I embarrassed myself a lot.
But one of the best things about my quitting drinking is not only coping with all those strong feelings, but accepting them as a part of who I am. Without apology. Without regret. Without shame.
So now what you get is 100% me, like it or not. Take it or leave it, it is what it is.
And I must say, not only do I like myself more, but I respect myself more. A hell of a lot more.
And if you don't respect me, I don't care. For the first time in a long time, I have enough respect for myself to more than cover for those who have no respect for me.
How's that? Not to shabby for little ole' me, right?
Also, I gotta say, no more hangovers kind of really rules supreme. Those sucked.
And seltzer has come a long way. Thank god.
I'm so deep!