Monday, July 14, 2014

I want you to be a girl

"Mom, did dad feed my fish?
"TJ I don't know.  He's walking the dog; you're going to have to wait until he's home and ask him."
"Argh.  Ok."

About 10 minutes later....

"Mom do you know if dad fed my fish?"
"TJ please wait until dad is home so you can ask him yourself, ok?"
"Ok."

And 5 minutes after that....

"Mom did dad feed my fish or not?!"
"TJ do you remember what I answered a few minutes ago?"
"That I have to wait until he's back from his walk and ask him myself."
"That's right."
"Ok."

Peter:
"God that's so annoying TJ!  Mom said you have to wait!  Didn't you listen?!"

I quietly asked Peter to come into my room.

"Pete, some things we just have to accept and be patient about with TJ."

"I know but it's so annoying!  And he learns stuff all the time, maybe he can change.  I'm sick of it."

"Well what if I said I'm sick of your hair and I wish it were black?"

"Anyone can change their hair color."

"Ok then, Pete, I wish you were a girl.  How about that?"

Silence.

"Pete honey, I absolutely do not wish you were a girl.  But what if I did?  You can't just change the nature of who you are, can you?"

"No..."

"Well neither can TJ, sweetie.  Some things we just have to be patient with, no matter how annoying."

"Ugh.  I get it mom."

It's going to be interesting to see, as Peter gets older, how he deals with his developing understanding of autism and the role it plays in his life.  It's going to be bumpy, just like anything a kid needs to learn about.  But I also know that when push comes to shove, no one has TJ's back like his brother.

We will see.  

And if he's annoyed by this, what's he going to do when Sean and I tease him in front of his future girlfriends?!?!  

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