Thursday, February 7, 2013

Blessing in disguise?

Best line of the week - TJ got in the car as I picked him up on Monday and said "Mom, there was a lizard in science class and he had a b-o-n-e-r." I love that he spelled it.

I remember 7th grade being a tough time - a time when you are trying to figure out how to be cool, surging hormones, and massive insecurity. Well now my TJ is going through it, but it's a totally different story because of his autism.

Or is it? I see some familiar behaviors that seem to be "typical almost 13". But the friend piece, the being cool piece, isn't there for him.

I've heard that some boys in his class are having a hard time with being friends with so-and-so one day, then not being friends the next day..typical teenage stuff. But TJ is completely removed from any of it.

I'm so torn over how I feel about it. I'm thrilled he is spared from any heartache or teasing - these great kids really look out for TJ. And no one wants to be the kid who targets the kid with autism - that's way too obvious. But another part of me is sad that he doesn't get the experience of going through it. It's like a right of passage. Maybe it would make him stronger, like it made me.

I don't get to go through it either, as a parent. When it gets to be Peter's turn I won't have any previous experience to relate to. Maybe that's selfish of me, but that's how I feel. I have missed out on a lot of firsts as a parent, and I don't usually think about it like that, but for some reason this situation really puts me in that place. Another glaring reminder that my kid is different. Sometimes it really sucks.

Anyway, that's where I'm at.

My next one will be funny, or at least less whiny, I promise!  This is a direct result of mid-winter blahs.

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