Wednesday, November 11, 2015

An Epiphany from a Former Boozer

I've had an epiphany.

I'm a super-sensitive person.  Always have been.  I cry at the drop of a hat - happy and sad times.  It's annoying as hell.  It's one of those things about myself that has been the hardest to deal with.

I have realized that one of the hugest reasons that I drank so much was to stop feeling so much.  I feel everything very strongly.  Everything.  Stress, joy, insecurity, fun, happy and sad.  Drinking helped to quiet down and numb all those feelings that I was constantly experiencing.

Except when it didn't.  Sometimes I felt things even more strongly and reacted in a way that I wouldn't have, without the booze.

I embarrassed myself a lot.

But one of the best things about my quitting drinking is not only coping with all those strong feelings, but accepting them as a part of who I am.  Without apology.  Without regret.  Without shame.

So now what you get is 100% me, like it or not.  Take it or leave it, it is what it is.

And I must say, not only do I like myself more, but I respect myself more.  A hell of a lot more.

And if you don't respect me, I don't care.  For the first time in a long time, I have enough respect for myself to more than cover for those who have no respect for me.

How's that?  Not to shabby for little ole' me, right?

Also, I gotta say, no more hangovers kind of really rules supreme.  Those sucked.

And seltzer has come a long way.  Thank god.

I'm so deep!

2 comments:

  1. Hello Lauren,
    It just great to read about you.
    I love the way you are, I am also like you.

    I cry at the drop of a hat - happy and sad times.

    Annabel, UK

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    Replies
    1. Hi Annabel!
      I'm so glad you like the piece - and I'm happy to 'meet' you!
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting - it means so much to me.
      From one cryer to another! 😊

      Lauren

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