Nuggets of Brilliance

Many of my Facebook status updates are about amazing things my kids say.  I thought I should collect them here and share them - they're pretty great.

TJ just started saying "Holy Crab". Guess I should either watch my mouth, or start pronouncing my words more clearly.

I am laughing at TJ who said "I have autism, and enthusiasm!" True, TJ, very true.

TJ said he improvised in the play yesterday. He was the tail of the crocodile. He said to Captain Hook "Say hello to my little friend!" Then he farted at him. I'm...um...so proud.

TJ fell out of a tree today. "I can't breathe Mom. I think I'm going to die right here." First wind knocked out experience. Didn't know I could run that fast across a field! He's fine, BTW.

TJ put on an exam gown at his check up yesterday and asked his doctor, "Do I look like a woman?"

TJ: "We're best friends, right Pete?" Peter: "Yeah TJ, you're my best friend." I can't take it!!!

Peter promotes acceptance after watching Pixar Shorts with TJ: "Mom, TJ remembers the order of each Pixar short because of his autism. Isn't that so cool?"

TJ: "Peter, you have to make pickle island." Peter: "TJ, how am I supposed to do that???" TJ: "Why, with pickles of course!!!"

TJ this morning: "Mom, I'm gonna wear my shades to school so I can see how cool I can be."

At the dance off TJ yelled to the audience, "We're gonna bring the house down!!!" They did, too...

TJ: "Mom, Peter did me a solid.". Me: "What?!?!". TJ: "Mom, that means he did me a favor." WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN???

TJ cried when I forced him to play a game with his brother and PCA. TJ: "I don't want to talk to people" Me: "sweetie, it's the autism part of you that makes it so hard for you. That's why we have to practice." TJ: "I hate the autism part of me!!!" Me: "I don't hate it, love. It's part of you, and you are amazing just the way you are" A breakthrough for both of us, I think...here's to open communication!!!!

TJ running around the house yelling "baldy baldy baldy bald", stopping only to look in the mirror and flex his "muscles". That's my boy.

TJ: "I love you Peter, very much. You're my best brother friend forever."

TJ this morning, with underwear on his head: "Mom, is this my shirt? And by the way, 'boner' is not a swear, it's a body part."

"I thought there was a monster laying next to me, then I realized it was my pants." TJ Jordan, in all his brilliance.

TJ driving through farm country: "It smells like a rancid burrito. What's a burrito?"

Peter: "Look how fast I can run without pants!"
TJ: "Mom, here's a fact about mollusks."
Ah, a typical morning in the Jordan house.

Yesterday TJ and Peter were busted going on YouTube without asking - big no-no. I told them they would have some sort of punishment. TJ said "What are you gonna do? Spank us on our hammies? Punch us in the gut?" Where does he get this stuff?!!?!

This morning at breakfast Peter started yelling "I wanted you to give me life, mom! Why didn't you give me life?" I said, confused, "I did, 10 years ago!!!" "NO mom, Life CEREAL! DUH!" My bad - of course that's what you meant.

Peter: "Mom, can I have extra Wii time? It's really hard having a brother with autism...." Nice try kiddo but I'm on to you!

TJ is upset about his homework - meaning he's yelling "I can't do it! I quit! I can't do anything!!!" I left him alone to calm down and he just yelled from the dining room, "Mom, I can do it myself. I know what to do. I am driven to tears." then he started crying. I asked "Are you upset or proud?" "A little bit of both, Mom, a little bit of both". Drama, anyone?

love it when TJ says "blissed-ed" when he means "ballistic". He's also walking around saying "Hey mom, do you have any cook books by.....YO MAMA?!?!"

We got some new fish yesterday for the tank. TJ is thrilled and after staring at the tank for about 20 minutes, opened it up and said "it smells like happiness!". :)

Peter: "Mom, my right butt cheek just fell asleep."
Me: "Well how does your left butt cheek feel about it?"
Peter: "Jealous."
True story.

TJ is walking around with his hand near his rear end, saying "I'm pregnant! I'm going to have a baby!" Then brings his hand to the front, with a dyed egg in his hand. "I'm a Mom! Come here, little egg....."

Sean and I have Autism Awareness tshirts with TJ's name on them. He cried when he saw them and asked us not to wear them. "Are you sad because it makes you feel different, sweetheart?" "Yes, Mom. Inside and out." My amazing, wonderful boy.

We are at the soccer field watching Peter and TJ didn't want to go, so he's having a meltdown. He sat in his chair and "ran" with his legs only saying "I'm free!" Now he's calling himself Robbie Jordan (TJ has left the building and RJ is here in his place). A day in the life.

TJ was up at 6 - looking at his ipod. "good morning sweetheart!" "MOM! I'm looking at images! I need privacy! Leave please!" I don't think I want to know.....

TJ at brunch: "ah, maple syrup...it's my life, it's my wife."

Well, that basically sums it up.  I wonder what they'll say next.....